If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize