Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
