What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't deserve a penis
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
