ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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