People in love make me want to vomit
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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