need another drink. this is the easiest way
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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