i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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