Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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