I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize