I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize