Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
