I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
