You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
