we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
