you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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