there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
