His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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