mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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