i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
