so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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