This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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