I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
