i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
