I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
