cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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