Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dear god my vagina.
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