a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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