I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
