he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
