there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
