i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
