Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
