omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
