we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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