He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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