There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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