i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize