the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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