here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
