Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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