its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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