I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
