Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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