I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
