Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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