she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
its liver damage thursday
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
