after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
