Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
