Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
