a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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