so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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