Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize