apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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