writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
