I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
