If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
