i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
