Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
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Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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