I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Even the bartender felt bad for me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it glows. i had to have it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
